Digital Etiquette: Navigating Social Chats, Phone Calls, Online Gaming and Messages with Grace. Part 1.

As we spend more time online, proper digital manners become more essential in the modern digital world. 

The first formal guidelines of digital etiquette were introduced by programmer Virginia Shea in her book “Netiquette“.  Her basic message was straightforward: always remain human, especially in the digital world, and never forget that real people are on the other side of the screen. 

Digital etiquette helps us communicate with respect, whether we’re emailing, texting, or chatting in groups. Practicing good digital manners allows us to build better connections online and create a more welcoming atmosphere for everyone. 

Let’s learn internet etiquette and work together to improve the digital world. 

Be Mindful 

• Tone: Online communication can easily be misinterpreted due to the lack of non-verbal cues. Avoid sarcasm, and use emojis thoughtfully to clarify intent if necessary. 
• Positive Attitude: It is important to have a positive attitude towards others on social media platforms. This can be shown by liking your friends’ posts, responding to stories, and leaving positive comments. 

• Respect Others: Social media is a space of freedom, but not lawless anarchy. Respect others while communicating via Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, X (Tweeter), VKontakte, and other social platforms. 

• Timing: Respond to messages within a reasonable time frame, but don’t feel pressured to reply instantly. Be mindful of the time of day; avoid sending non-urgent messages late at night or too early in the morning. 

Subordination 

The Internet can blur the lines of age and gender. It is quite difficult to guess who your new opponent is, how old he or she is. Use the principle of symmetry to adapt your style to your conversation partner’s. For example, if they use emojis, voice messages, or casual language, you may do the same to create a comfortable atmosphere. 

Respect others’ preferences on video calls. If someone’s camera is off, consider turning yours off as well unless it’s necessary for the conversation. 

The Principle of Agreement 

It’s courteous to check if your contact is available right now and what works best at this moment: texting or speaking on the phone. When in doubt, send a quick message to confirm availability 

Convenience and Efficiency 

Choosing the best communication method shows respect for both your time and the other person’s. It is important to understand how to act in a certain situation: making a phone call, writing a message or recording a voice message, etc.  For example, if you need to send a document with a lot of materials and links, then it is better to use e-mail. 

Different Forms of Communication on Different Platforms 

Each platform and culture have its own set of communication standards. Digital etiquette can vary dramatically in different communities and social groups. Students, for example, send each other lots of voice messages and memes, while in business communication in Japan, interlocutors write lengthy messages, where the first part is devoted to apologies for the inconvenience, and the second part is summaries of the main points.  

• Adjust your tone and style based on the platform and relationship. Keep emails to colleagues brief and polite, while you might use a more casual tone for friends. 

• Remember, your communications will change when you interact with coworkers, students, friends, or management via the internet. 

Protect Your Privacy 

• Be cautious with what you share online. Avoid posting highly personal or sensitive photos, like nude photos, in swimsuits, lingerie, or overly emotional displays. 

• Skip sharing photos during a meal, because no matter how beautiful you are looking there might be chaos on the table, improper order of silverware, or just a mess on the plate. 

• If your photos include other people, please ask for their permission before posting them in the site. 

In the Public Sphere 

• Minimize Phone Use in Public: Talking or texting in public can be distracting to others. Limit phone use to necessary situations, especially when in public places like public transportation, restaurants, and waiting areas. 

• Use Phones Discreetly in Groups: When in a group, avoid excessive phone use, because it will interrupt socialization with family and friends.  If you received an important phone call, apologize and leave the group. 

• Respect Quiet Spaces: Many people find it distracting to talk or text on a cell phone in a public space, train, or public transit. Please turn off the phone’s sound. Respect these zones to prevent upsetting other travelers who preffer a more peaceful environment. 

• Adapt to Local Etiquette: In Japan, talking on the phone on public transportation is considered disrespectful, and texting or emailing is recommended. In Austria, cities such as Graz have banned phone usage on public trams and buses, however, texting is still allowed. In Finland, campaigns are urging people to avoid discussing sensitive topics on public transport. 

Social Chats and Group Messages 

• No Need for Constant Greetings: You don’t need to say hello and goodbye every time you join or leave a chat. 

• Respect Privacy: Before adding someone to a group chat, get their permission. Not everyone enjoys being in group conversations. 

• Stay on Topic: Group chats can easily become overwhelming. Keep discussions relevant to the group’s purpose and avoid sending irrelevant messages. 

• Avoid Over-Tagging: Only tag or mention people when it’s truly necessary to get their attention. 

• Be Polite: Avoid inappropriate language, aggressive comments, or swearing. These can be offensive and disrupt the group’s atmosphere. 

• Respond to Compliments and Greetings: It’s polite to acknowledge compliments or holiday greetings with a simple “Thank you” rather than ignoring them. 

• Request Post Removal Politely: If you’re tagged in an unflattering photo or mentioned in a post with an unpleasant context, you can ask the author to delete it. Send a private message rather than leaving negative comments. 

• Respond in a Timely Manner: Although no one expects an instant reply, try to respond to messages within a reasonable time, like an hour, to show courtesy. 

• Support with Likes: Liking a friend’s post is a nice gesture, even if you don’t fully agree with the content. Showing respect and support online is always appreciated. 

• Avoid Over-Posting: Posting too frequently can be annoying and may lead others to unsubscribe. Share in moderation to keep your audience engaged. 

• Avoid All Caps: Writing in all caps can may create the sensation of a scream, so use regular text to keep the tone friendly. 

• Limit Exclamation Marks: One exclamation mark is usually enough! Using too many can seem overdramatic. 

Phone Calls 

• Answer Promptly: Ideally, pick up the phone after 2–3 rings. Use the first ring to prepare for the call and the second to compose yourself  

• Don’t Delay Answering: If receiving a call, pick up within six rings to avoid keeping the caller waiting.  

• Check Availability: If you’re calling someone unexpectedly, send a quick message first to check if they’re available. Avoid calling late at night unless it’s urgent. 

• Know the Caller’s Name: Find out the other person’s name and address them by it. If you’re unsure, politely ask. If they introduce themselves, take note of their name. 

• Start with a Greeting and Introduction: Begin each call with a polite greeting and introduce yourself if the person doesn’t know you. 

• Use Names Appropriately: Address the other person by name if you’re familiar with them. Otherwise, introduce yourself first. 

• Speak Clearly and Slowly: Maintain a calm pace, speaking at 120–150 words per minute. During greetings, speak even more slowly. 

• Mind Your Grammar and Clarity: Use proper grammar and articulate your words clearly. 

• Be Concise: Get to the point quickly, especially in work or formal settings. Respect the other person’s time by keeping conversations focused and brief. 

• Set a Positive Tone: Avoid sounding indifferent or superior; use a warm tone. Without visual cues, tone is key to being understood. 

• Be an Active Listener: Don’t interrupt. Offer affirmative sounds or interjections to show you’re listening, and repeat key points. 

• Adjust Volume Appropriately: Match your volume to the situation for a respectful and professional tone. 

• Keep Track of Call Duration: Be mindful of the conversation length and avoid letting it go on too long. 

• Stay Focused: Avoid multitasking during calls—don’t eat, drink, or get distracted. Give your full attention to the caller. 

• Mute When Necessary: In group or conference calls, mute your microphone when not speaking to minimize background noise. 

• Notify if Stepping Away: If you need to leave the call briefly, explain why and wait for the caller’s confirmation to hold. 

• Keep Your Promises: Follow through on any promises made during the call. If you cannot fulfill them, don’t commit. 

• Follow Up if Needed: If the call ends unexpectedly or you promised to call back, be sure to do so. 

• Limit Call Attempts: If someone doesn’t answer, call a maximum of twice in one day, then try again the following day. 

Video Call

• Check Your Tech: Ensure your camera, microphone, and internet connection are working well before the call. A quick test run helps avoid technical issues during the meeting. 

• Choose a Quiet, Well-Lit Space: Sit in a quiet area with good lighting. Avoid loud or distracting backgrounds, and make sure your face is clearly visible. 

• Dress Appropriately: Dress as you would for an in-person meeting, especially for professional calls. Even in a casual setting, looking presentable shows respect for others. 

• Mute When Not Speaking: To minimize background noise, keep your microphone on mute when you’re not speaking. This makes the call clearer for everyone involved. 

• Be Punctual: Join the call on time, ideally a few minutes early. Respect others’ schedules by starting and ending at the agreed times. 

• Stay Engaged: Give your full attention to the call. Avoid multitasking, looking at your phone, or checking emails during the conversation. 

• Make Eye Contact: Look at the camera when speaking to create a sense of eye contact, which helps build connection and shows attentiveness. 

• Limit Movement and Avoid Eating: Moving around too much or eating during a video call can be distracting. Keep movement to a minimum to avoid drawing attention away from the conversation. 

• Use the Chat Thoughtfully: Only use the chat feature for relevant points or questions. Avoid sideline conversations that can disrupt the flow of the main discussion. 

• Handle Interruptions Gracefully: If an interruption occurs, handle it politely. Mute yourself if you need to step away briefly, and apologize if necessary. 

• Be Mindful of Backgrounds and Filters: Ensure your background and any virtual filters are professional and not distracting. A clean, neutral background is usually best. 

• End the Call Smoothly: When the call is finished, say a polite goodbye and wait for the host to end the meeting if appropriate. Ensure your camera and microphone are turned off before stepping away. 

Facial Expressions and Body Language in Video Calls 

• Maintain a Friendly Expression: A gentle smile or a neutral, relaxed expression creates a positive impression and signals attentiveness. Try to avoid frowning or looking bored, as this can come across as disinterest. 

• Sit Up Straight: Good posture conveys professionalism and attentiveness. Sit up straight with your shoulders back, facing the camera directly, to show engagement and confidence. 

• Make Eye Contact: Looking at the camera instead of the screen when speaking mimics eye contact and helps build a connection with others, making you appear more present and focused. 

• Use Small, Purposeful Gestures: Hand gestures can add emphasis, but keep movements controlled and within the camera frame to avoid distraction. 

• Nod to Show Understanding: Simple nods indicate that you’re listening and engaged. They reassure others that you’re following along, even if you’re not speaking. 

• Avoid Fidgeting: Excessive movement, like adjusting your hair, tapping, or swiveling in your chair, can be distracting. Aim to remain still to keep the focus on your words. 

• Watch Your Hands: Keep your hands visible but not distracting. Resting them on your lap or desk, using them occasionally to emphasize points, can show that you’re engaged without overwhelming the viewer. 

• React Appropriately to Others’ Cues: If someone shares something humorous, laugh politely; if they share something serious, look understanding or sympathetic. Matching facial expressions with the tone of the conversation creates rapport. 

Mastering digital etiquette is about being considerate, respectful, and mindful of how our actions impact others online. By following these guidelines, we can navigate digital interactions smoothly and maintain positive relationships in both personal and professional spheres! 

Part 2 of Digital Etiquette: Navigating Social Chats, Phone Calls, Online Gaming and Messages with Grace. will be published next Tuesday. 

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